For years we went to a friend’s for Thanksgiving dinner - this year we decided it was our turn to host and it was pretty yummy. But I realized I’m getting old when my friend and I traded medical issues and the names of good surgeons. This isn’t who I had planned to become.
Ian and I also have the unfortunate habit of checking out the Sunday morning political talk shows. Are we really as divided as some of the politicos spewing hate and whining about how they are not being fairly represented? It’s difficult to respect a whiner and it’s obvious they, in turn, don’t respect their followers. I can’t recognize someone I’m unable to respect as a leader and when that individual is also an amoral bully trodding on those who put him in power through a campaign of fear mongering he must be despised. Not hated or feared - those are emotions he and his minions would like to trigger because they make them feel powerful - but disgust like any pool of fetid material engenders.
There are days I just want to remain in my safe bubble, secure under my roof with food in the pantry and access to medical care. Venturing out of this comfortable place exposes me to a smorgasbord of the world’s problems. Is it really my responsibility to solve them? Do I have any right as a human being to not try?
I wonder at times if my small efforts entitle me to my current situation. I recycle but is the water needed to make a cat food can or plastic container clean enough to recycle counterproductive. I have reusable grocery bags, I avoid the plastic bags in the produce department. The cat litter comes in refillable containers. I lead a cancer support group and try to answer newbie questions in depth online.
But the satisfaction I feel from these efforts can dissolve when I’m reminded of the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, the sexual violence against women used throughout the world as a tool of armies, gangs and patriarchal cultures - not just in South America, the Gulf States and third world countries in Africa but also in the misogynistic far right in the United States. Starvation and deprivation. Hospitals, schools and MSF outposts targeted by “coalition” bombs. Casual dismissal of “collateral” damage. Destruction of hallmarks of civilizations which have stood for centuries, families buried in the rubble of what should have been the safety of their homes.
I’m troubled that I don’t yet see a candidate emerging who can combine strength, vision and ethics into true leadership to bring honor and respect back to our country, repair the damage to American values and social fabric and restore the United States to its world leadership role. It will take much longer to restore our place in the world than it took to relinquish power and influence to Russia and China. It will take time for the rest of the world to trust us again or to believe that the United States will stand behind its words and honor its commitments.
I don’t believe that simply switching the balance of power will achieve what America needs. Our next leader must be someone who can provide tangible benefits and dignity to those who have been lied to the past three years, to ensure that prosperity in America is available to those who are the backbone of our country as well as those who who inhabit coastal skyscrapers. The next leader must be able to stand up to bullies. To know how to put ideas into action. To support fiscal responsibility. To understand how to put country instead of party. To respect and work with our allies. To maintain diplomatic relations with while not supporting the actions of adversaries.
I don’t believe that we can fix everything that is wrong in our world. But I do feel that we can and should return to being the shining light that our country was regarded as. An example that others can aspire to. A beacon not meant to draw others like moths to a flame but to shed light across the world so that others can emerge from darkness. But as long as we remain a fearful people - removing our shoes at the airport, trying to hide behind a wall, afraid of those who don’t look like us - others will doubt that we still represent “the land of the free and the home of the brave.”
I’m hopeful. Watching young women who grew up on the slopes of New England and Colorado ski their hearts out at the World Cup at Killington reminds me that our athletes work hard to earn celebrity while acquiring skill that will help them be teachers, leaders and positive examples. Seeing young activists addressing issues that matter and idealists being elected to local and national offices reminds me that our votes do count even if our system is flawed.
